Lizard time, titty bears, and mosquito gates

A year or so ago my native Spanish speaking husband told me he needed a little lizard time.  I really had no idea what he was talking about until he clarified with, "you know, when you just lie around and do nothing...like a lizard."  He really was certain he had heard people talking about lizard time activities.  It must be the thick accent down here.  Pen turns into pin, ten to tin, sure to show, and leisure to lizard.  Oddly enough, he actually has an easier time understanding the native southerners than I do, but there have been a couple times he was completely off base.

My favorite involved a skit he had to do at one of those team building workshops. Each group was given a few objects around which they would create their drama.  Papi's group received, as he told me, a Kleenex, a piece of paper, and a titty bear.

A titty bear? I asked him, un oso con chichis? (yeah, maybe you didn't know that the faux Mexican restaurant Chichis was really called Hooters, but it is true, you have been eating salsa at a place called Titties).

No, a titty bear, a TITTY bear, he insisted.

Papi, it is a TEDDY bear.

Oh, its a good thing I didn't have to say that word in the skit!

This morning on my way out of the house, I reminded him to let the dogs outside.  He asked me, did you  close the mosquito gate. 

¿The what?

The mosquito gate.  You know, the door that keeps out the mosquitos.